It’s Really An Art When You Think About It…

I've been thinking about something lately that's been a big unlock for me in recent years.

Letting people choose.

Because the most powerful position you can occupy is the one where others choose you.

Not the other way around.

I learned a lot of lessons from some OGs in my life growing up in LA.

And one quote always sticks in the back of my head…

“You gotta let her choose”

Now, this was more of a dating thing.

But when you really think about it, it applies to so many areas of your life.

Because when you stop chasing…

And position yourself to become the one being chased…

You’ll have a hell of a lot better experience with life.

The craziest part about this, is that you don’t even need to have the results or track record to frame yourself this way. You just need the confidence and self-respect to do it.

My Time Dealing With a Clinical Psychopath.

way wayyy back when I first got into online money.

Before I started posting content

before I dove off the deep end into direct response.

I was a writer with 200 followers looking for any kinda work possible.

and somehow, from reaching out to some anon guy on twitter, we started working together.

As we jumped on calls, tried to launch his shitty info product, and got absolutely 0 in direct sales ( looking back the pricing was absolutely dumb as hell for that offer, but that’s another story in itself…)

I noticed something.

He was a psychopath.

And no like “he was crazy”

Like “he didn’t feel empathy and was extremely narcissitic”

Irregardless of skillset or ability.

Then one day, I forgot why, but the little rag-tag group we had was doing a mock sales call to upsell the people in his community.

And watching him sell was the most eye opening thing i’ve ever seen…

Idk how he did it, but he framed the entire conversation to where the other person was fighting for HIS approval.

They were selling themselves to HIM.

He wasn’t good. He wasn’t smart. But he was undeniably confident in himself.

And he somehow closed a $400k deal from it.

The dude was dead fucking broke.

Then closed $400k after we split ( I had to bounce dude was extremely manipulative, and I knew psych so i was hype aware of what was happening… )

This random period of my life taught me something very valuable…

The “truth” is what you make it.

And your mind is what’s holding you back 99% of the time.

You have the ability, right now, to frame yourself as the “prize” —- for lack of better terms.

And in doing so, you’ll have a better time in life.

In dating, the healthiest relationships happen when a woman chooses you as much as you choose her.

When she's invested, engaged, and actively participating in building something together.

Not when you're convincing her to stay.

This same principle governs everything:

• Clients who choose you are better clients

• Friends who choose you are better friends

• Opportunities that choose you are better opportunities

• Family members who choose you create healthier dynamics

The Energy Economics

Here's what I've observed: Energy flows toward what it values.

When you're chasing, you're giving energy to something that doesn't value it enough to reciprocate.

When you're chosen, energy flows both ways naturally.

Think about your best client relationships.

I guarantee they probably reached out to you, not the other way around.

They saw your work, valued what you brought, and initiated contact.

Compare that to the clients you had to convince.

The energy economics were inverted from the start.

But be warned. This energetic equation only works if you’re just as okay with losing something as you are with keeping it.

The Internal Work Paradox

Now, this doesn't mean you sit around passively waiting for life to happen to you.

That's victim mentality disguised as philosophy.

You do the deep work. You do the shadow work. You become genuinely valuable.

But here's the key:

You do this work for YOU, not to attract specific people or outcomes.

You become the best version of yourself because that's who you want to be.

You develop skills because mastery feels good.

You build wealth because freedom matters to you.

The choosing happens as a byproduct, not as the goal.

The Paradox of Pursuit

The more you chase something, the less likely you are to get it. The more you need it, the more it repels from you.

This is true for:

• Women (desperation kills attraction)

• Clients (neediness destroys authority)

• Friends (trying too hard creates distance)

• Opportunities (forcing doors rarely works)

Instead, you build something so compelling that what belongs in your life naturally gravitates toward it.

I’m a personal believer in the universe bending to your will if you have a clear enough vision and detachment from NEEDING the thing you desire.

( Read Reality Transurfing. Won’t say more )

The Selection Process

When you stop chasing and start being chooseable, something interesting happens:

You start attracting options.

Multiple women interested.

Multiple client inquiries.

Multiple opportunities presenting themselves.

Now you get to choose from abundance rather than scarcity.

This is when your selection criteria becomes everything.

You don't just take whatever shows up—you choose what aligns with your values, goals, and energy.

The Deeper Truth

People know when they're being chased versus when they're choosing.

The energy is completely different. When someone chooses you, they're invested in making it work.

When you chase them, they're doing you a favor by participating.

Which dynamic creates better outcomes?

This extends to every relationship in your life.

The family members who choose to spend time with you versus those you have to convince. The friends who reach out versus those who only respond.

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your choices and choosers.

The Implementation

Start with one area of your life where you've been chasing. Maybe it's a relationship, a client, an opportunity.

Stop.

Redirect that energy into building something valuable. Focus on becoming someone worth choosing.

Then watch what happens.

The things that belong in your life will find their way to you. The things that don't will fade away naturally.

and remember.

If she ain’t choosin’ ,she’s losin’